random things to do on a friday night, redux
Division Day – Enjoy the Silence
This is a cover of something or another. In fact, all I have heard of these people are their covers, which leads me to believe their original stuff isn’t all that.
This blog is, surprisingly enough, starting to recieve over 20 unique hits every day. The amusing thing is, all of these stem from a google search ‘things to do on a friday night’. It would seem that life’s most desperate, bored individuals flock to one random old post on here for a way out, and all it offers is a couple random sentences I wrote while bored.
You people desperate for something to do tonight just to say they did something and are therefore cool (and not a loser, nosir, not a whit of loser here)–this list is for you.
things to do on a friday night (this title is just to give google more search terms to pick up; FRIDAY BOREDOM NIGHT THINGS TO DO SEX PENIS VAGINA PORN GAY ACTION NIGHTLIFE SEX SEX SEX GIRLS BOYS–)
- Get the fuck out of your miserable little hovel for awhile. Walk to the store and buy food or cigarettes or whatever it is you want. Go with friends and play with mentos and coke (diet coke does not work, by the way).
- Strip trivia. It’s less luck-based than poker and it’s proof brains are sexy.
- If you’re looking for a more G-rated game, Monopoly is always a good time until the swearing and death threats start.
- Play guitar, keyboard, harp–whatever it is you have in your house. Don’t think you’re good enough to write a song if you play once or twice a year. Just figure out how to pluck Seven Nation Army, and you will be entertained for awhile.
- Work out. Go for a run; go to a sports center; something other than five pushups in your bedroom and a bag of chips afterwards.
- Write or paint or do whatever the hell it is that you think you’re creative at. Get some people together and make a big ‘painting’ on a massive sheet of paper.
- If you’ve got money and a vehicle, go buy something from every coffee shop in town, or visit every library, or something random.
- Sit on your front steps and leer at passerby.
- Go to the local college dorms, and knock on random doors. Ask whomever answers what they are doing. Hang out if they invite you in; most college students aren’t smart enough to be serial killers.
- Go to Starbucks and laugh in the faces of all the pretentious stereotypes (writer guys with laptop, supposed ‘book groups’ who do nothing but blather on about sex, businessmen trying very hard to look important).
- Take a walk downtown and talk for awhile with the first person you see handing out pamphlets or the message of God. Assuming you don’t come off as creepy, they will enjoy the company for awhile.
- Go to the playground. Epic swinging contests await.
- Have mock fights using various items at Wal-Mart.
- Heckle people at the bowling alley.
- Make a list of every swear word you know, head to a nearby rooftop, and SHOUT.
- Go to a drug store, and ask the clerks their opinion on various types of condoms.
- Be a hypocrite, just for fun.
- My ideas are getting progressively shorter and less exciting, so I am going to stop.
Just watch this get no hits at all, in spite of my incredibly accurate search terms. Just watch.