random things to do on a friday night, redux



Division Day – Enjoy the Silence
This is a cover of something or another. In fact, all I have heard of these people are their covers, which leads me to believe their original stuff isn’t all that.

This blog is, surprisingly enough, starting to recieve over 20 unique hits every day. The amusing thing is, all of these stem from a google search ‘things to do on a friday night’. It would seem that life’s most desperate, bored individuals flock to one random old post on here for a way out, and all it offers is a couple random sentences I wrote while bored.

You people desperate for something to do tonight just to say they did something and are therefore cool (and not a loser, nosir, not a whit of loser here)–this list is for you.

things to do on a friday night (this title is just to give google more search terms to pick up; FRIDAY BOREDOM NIGHT THINGS TO DO SEX PENIS VAGINA PORN GAY ACTION NIGHTLIFE SEX SEX SEX GIRLS BOYS–)

  • Get the fuck out of your miserable little hovel for awhile. Walk to the store and buy food or cigarettes or whatever it is you want. Go with friends and play with mentos and coke (diet coke does not work, by the way).
  • Strip trivia. It’s less luck-based than poker and it’s proof brains are sexy.
  • If you’re looking for a more G-rated game, Monopoly is always a good time until the swearing and death threats start.
  • Play guitar, keyboard, harp–whatever it is you have in your house. Don’t think you’re good enough to write a song if you play once or twice a year. Just figure out how to pluck Seven Nation Army, and you will be entertained for awhile.
  • Work out. Go for a run; go to a sports center; something other than five pushups in your bedroom and a bag of chips afterwards.
  • Write or paint or do whatever the hell it is that you think you’re creative at. Get some people together and make a big ‘painting’ on a massive sheet of paper.
  • If you’ve got money and a vehicle, go buy something from every coffee shop in town, or visit every library, or something random.
  • Sit on your front steps and leer at passerby.
  • Go to the local college dorms, and knock on random doors. Ask whomever answers what they are doing. Hang out if they invite you in; most college students aren’t smart enough to be serial killers.
  • Go to Starbucks and laugh in the faces of all the pretentious stereotypes (writer guys with laptop, supposed ‘book groups’ who do nothing but blather on about sex, businessmen trying very hard to look important).
  • Take a walk downtown and talk for awhile with the first person you see handing out pamphlets or the message of God. Assuming you don’t come off as creepy, they will enjoy the company for awhile.
  • Go to the playground. Epic swinging contests await.
  • Have mock fights using various items at Wal-Mart.
  • Heckle people at the bowling alley.
  • Make a list of every swear word you know, head to a nearby rooftop, and SHOUT.
  • Go to a drug store, and ask the clerks their opinion on various types of condoms.
  • Be a hypocrite, just for fun.
  • My ideas are getting progressively shorter and less exciting, so I am going to stop.

Just watch this get no hits at all, in spite of my incredibly accurate search terms. Just watch.

~ by maximillian on 30.08.08; 242 / 365.

25 Responses to “random things to do on a friday night, redux”

  1. Ironicly, this blog was probably written on a Friday night because the author had nothing better to do.

  2. or you can also build a teepee and order wings :)

  3. These are the best friday night ideas I have found so far. I’m also enjoying the wittiness of the writer.

  4. ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAD TRIIIIIIIIIP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. a jar of peanut butter, a pack of assorted condoms, a twelve pack of fishnet leg hosing, 32 feet of aquarium tubing, a trumpet mouth piece, no less than three rolls of duct tape and some rubber underwear… the possibilites go on forever…

  6. you can cry in bed. hey it didn’t say something fun.

  7. loved the condom Idea, me and my B/F are going to go to that later tonight after we figure out what else to do tonight. Thanks for the tip.

  8. wow.. i loved the juging people idea! i do it all the time. im glad im not the only one

  9. Grease someone up with corn oil or something and chase them around, the first person to successfully catch them wins, or walk around and ask random strangers “are you my daddy?”

  10. I’ve got a good laugh just reading your blog. There is more originality here than in the first 20 searches in yahoo!

    I especially laughed at the Moch Wal-Mart wars. Still making edits from your community posts?

    Walk on the beach with beer in the bag.

    Surf Yahoo! –> “what to do on friday?” and click on 3rd link 2nd page…

  11. This is a choice as list. I enjoyed reading it. You may have given me some inspiration. Might try getting wreckless at a playground haha.

    Oh and I found your site through google, so you are getting hits.

  12. This is so brillant. Although I’m concerned about swearing off the roof top. People know me in the neighborhood.

  13. [...] worthy of this great, the Anonymous Reader’s attention. So I wrote something new: “random things to do on a friday night, redux“. My whorish little fifteen year old self gave these people exactly what they wanted, and [...]

  14. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?!?!?!?!?!?! THESE ARE FUCKING STUPID AND BORING!!!!! HALF OF THEM I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY SAY OR ARE…….. DAMN YOUR FUCKING S.T.U.P.I.D!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE NEVER BEEN ON A MORE STUPID SITE IN MY LIFE!!!! THIS DID NOT HELP ME ONE BIT AND THANKS TO YOU MY FRIDAY NIGHT IS GOING TO BE SHIT, BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GIVE ANY NICE SUGGESTIONS!!!!!!!!!!……… NVM JUST FUCK YOU!!!!! .

  15. fucking get some better ideas. I need better suggestions.

  16. i agree this was a good read, more personal than some of the other sites!! thanks for the laugh!

  17. i dot no wat to do

  18. Got here by searching it on google. I thought it was witty and enjoyed it. Donnie I’ve got a good idea, get some rope a chair and find a good crossbeam in your house. You can figure out the rest, a life without a sense of humor is not worth living at all.

  19. Wear a mask and/or wig ALL evening. Be sure to go somewhere … anywhere, really … the mask and wig will make wherever you go better.

  20. Wow!! I’m really tempted to not leave a comment as I’m sure that’s want you want…but I can’t leave it alone. What a terrible post!!!! Your mouth is absolutely disgusting and I’m hoping and praying every day that my child is the exact opposite of you. I’m sure non of this will change what you think or say, and that’s fine…but maybe you should consider something other than blogging…you are not good.

    • Unfortunately, you’re about six years late in chastising me. But thanks regardless! I like to think the vulgarities that spew from my mouth have only compounded.

  21. This is fucking stupid!

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